Filtering the Foes

I’m moments away from implementing this. With insincere, undependable blood and water like a few whom I’ve encountered, who needs enemies? My still waters run deep and the superficial scum that you call your word and honor will rise to the top for me to scrape away, for good. My flow won’t be clogged by you.

Amy Poehler

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© 2014 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

Blind Man’s Bluff

Staying on the Upside: Making Plans for 2013

I’ve got loads and loads of rough drafts that are begging to be posted on my blog, but something keeps telling me to save them for a casing made of ink, paper, glue and spine.

We’ll see.

All I know is that right now, I am feeling elated– not because so many fabulous things have happened to me, but because almost everything that could go bad has (save my health and furry miracles {knock on wood}). I’m not in the mood to list them all off, but let me just say that this morning started out by my leaving the house, in 25-degree-weather, to attempt to drive my car to the mechanic. I say “attempt” not only because I have been driving on bad tires with brakes so horrendous that grinding and skidding could be heard while driving five miles per hour… a sound so horrific that I was convinced, the engine would fall out from under my car while on the highway, causing a pileup that would make the evening news. I had even gone to the shop, days earlier, just to hear what I already knew, “You can’t drive this car, like this.” (It would’ve been amazing to see More

Random Public Service Announcement

Just because we’re friends, family, acquaintances or strangers, chatting at a bar, it does NOT make it okay for you to ask how well-endowed my Japanese husband is (a hypothetical one-night-stand, friend with benefits or hot professor at school would be one thing, but my HUSBAND), solely because you want to know whether or not it’s true what “they” say about stereotypical Asian guys; For one: I haven’t screwed all of Asia, to know what ~they~ are all packing so, can’t make a valid calculation, two: There is nothing typical about my husband, and three: Your question is equivalent to one man boldly asking another to describe the “sugar walls” of his wife’s vagina only because he’s curious to know how she represents her ethnicity; I don’t think such a conversation would go over well. Get a clue, people… IT’S NONE of YOUR F!@#ING BUSINESS (no pun intended). Thank you. Now, back to your scheduled programming…


©2012 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

Staying on the Upside: Misguided Support – Faux Pas #2 — Slip of the Hands

Some of the most passionate, sweet and ultra-sincere people will accidentally let you down while feeling blue. It definitely was not their intention to hurt you any further than what you’ve been experiencing, but it happened… life happened. They wanted to be there to catch you, but had an unexpected case of “the slip of the hands”; They promised you the moon, the stars, the Milky Way… or maybe, just a hot fudge sundae to get you back on your feet, made plans with you, guaranteed more than a cyber-hug or quick chat on the street then, CANCELLED.

This is a NO-NO.

Again though, life happens and sometimes these things can’t be avoided, but there are only a few excuses that hold weight;

Unless there was a 10-car-pileup and they, those promising comfort, were inside of car number 11… unless there was a sniper, shooting up the walk-way that leads to the home of the person needing tender, loving care… unless there is a flesh-eating bacteria that has found its way into the More

Staying on the Upside: Misguided Support – Faux Pas #1 – Lack of Verbal Etiquette

For the record, using the phrase “that sucks” as a response to learning of a devastating event like, death, illness, divorce, amputation, and so forth, is one of the most inarticulate, oversimplified, diminishing and apathetic expressions to be uttered by another, leaves no room for preserving the dignity of a situation and should be avoided for the sake elegance, eloquence.

©2012 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

Poison


©2012 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

“To Whom It May Concern:…

“To Whom It May Concern: I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but sometimes, the dullest knife can be most DANGEROUS: DON’T F*^& w/ ME.”

~ChocolateGeisha


©2012 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

Quote

The Bitch Only Speaks Japanese

BITCH… or whatever one calls an ungrateful, female cat who blows off her human mother… the one who RESCUED HER from ABANDONMENT outside of their condo, ignoring her husband’s disapproval, only to later bond with that same, reluctant, samurai father.

This is the man who protested having another kitty taking up residence then, when the door shut behind us, to our unit, acted as though he had pushed her out of his womb during childbirth, and argued, for A WEEK, about what we could name the feline.

Now, when hubby (in a heavy, Japanese accent) yells out, “Chloe-san! Chloe-san! Run, Chloe, run!” She doesn’t just do the normal cat food commercial, twinkle-toes, “skipping to her food” move, but actually GALLOPS, like a HORSE to that man, I married.

When I call “Miss Thing” by her proper name, she kind of just looks over her shoulder at me, with a cold glance, rolls her eyes and starts walking away, in the opposite direction (unless she’s in the mood for some maternal affection, of course).

Is this because her older, furry siblings, eight and 10 years her senior, are territorial about me and try to bully her away from my attention? I don’t know.

ANIMALS LOVE ME!!!

THIS IS WRONG!!!!

“Hot Sake” (my spouse) knows it, too, and loves to play the devil by telling me that the independent brat of a “Papa’s girl” likes to lovingly exclaim, “Hi, Daddy!” then, immediately change to an annoyed expression to ask, “Where’s Heidi?”

NO RESPECT!

Even more appalling, they look alike…

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Look at that chick’s resentment… annoyed that I interrupted their quality time.

Uuggghhh…

©2011 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

Checking under the Hood: No, Not the Car Engine, the Baby-Making Machine

What happens when one is the last child in the family to not produce grandchildren, on OTHER PEOPLE’S SCHEDULE:

~KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT of MY OVARIES!!!!~

©2011 Heidi Rodney-Nakanishi and ChocolateGeisha Spills the Sake!™

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